Clocks and Time
February in the Upper Midwest can feel endlessly long, even though there are fewer days within it than any other month. There is something about anything “shortened” that tends to make us feel anxious—almost like we are missing something or afraid we will run out of time—and can cause us to pack just as much (if not more!) into the shrinking space (all I have to say is “short week” to set several of you on edge!). Well, it’s time to reframe and reset our sense of time.
photo credit: jon tyson/unsplash
Almost ten years ago, I traveled with my then teenage kids to visit family in South Africa. I had been there before, but my kids had not. I was excited for them to experience some of the same things I had previously, and for all of us to share some new adventures and make some great memories. On this trip, we traveled from Cape Town to Durban, spending some time in Eshowe, which included a “tours by locals” excursion to a neighboring Zulu community. Our guide was a member of the community and as part of the tour, we would be having lunch with him and his parents in their home. We understood this to be “around 1 p.m.”, however as that time came and went—and our bellies grumbled and groaned with hunger—we were led to explore the area on foot while our guide shared information and stories and his mother finished cooking our meal.
There was much activity in a certain section of the village and we were told that a wedding was taking place that day. We saw people washing, eating, drinking, laughing, talking and preparing various areas for the celebration to come. We felt somewhat uncomfortable as we were not invited to the wedding and did not want to intrude on their rituals and merriment; however, our guide assured us that anyone present in the village would be welcome to attend the festivities. When we pressed further about what time it would take place, he told us it would begin when the bride and groom were ready. We must have had curious looks on our faces in trying to figure out what specific time “when they are ready” might be, because our guide looked in our direction, smiled and said: “In America you have clocks—in our village, we have time”. He went on to explain that very little in their village must happen at any specific time on a clock—most things happen when they need to get done or when people get around to doing them. Because their entire community was of this mindset, it was very rare that impatience, frustration or anger occurred—people either waited or moved on to do something else, trusting that things would happen in due time.
This insight has stuck with me since that Zulu community experience so long ago. It has helped me to be differently present and to see time outside the context of schedules and clocks. Yes, our American world relies on precise timeliness—clocks and calendars—and yet, much of those assigned timelines are arbitrary or even unnecessary. So, when you feel yourself pressed for time, think about the imposed deadline and how important or impactful it really is. If it’s truly urgent or helping to maintain momentum, then make a plan to accomplish what’s needed; if the clock or calendar assignment is merely a random point in time (and not impacting anything or anyone else), consider giving yourself the gift of time and embracing what I learned during my time in the Zulu village: things will get done…eventually. So, while February is short and the commitments may be many, consider whether it’s time or clocks that should be the priority.
And, if you are wondering if we ever got our lunch, the answer is yes. I remember that it contained some foods new to me, was delicious, and graciously served. And no, I don’t remember what time was on the clock when we sat down to eat—only that we went on our way with full, happy bellies and many wonderful stories to share.
